New Year, New Motto, New Me! Will you be there by my side?

Everyone has been busy making New Year’s resolutions, some being broken as we speak. Weight loss, obtaining better employment, eating healthier etc. These are all important things we need to do for ourselves and in our life, I am trying to as well, just not as a resolution. I see so many miserable and very unhappy people in the world, from the young 21 year old who felt the need to gun down innocent babies in their safe school to the pain we feel when our loved ones pass without notice, to even losing a job that we thought was stable. Life is full of twists and turns and some without notice, just a quick swift pull of the rug and we are on another turn in our lives and have to find our way, all without a handbook or instructions to get us to the next destination. Yes we can make our own destiny, yes we can turn the other cheek, but speaking frankly, not everyone is capable to do that without help or even at all. Speaking from experience I have had many down points in my life, some have felt intolerable, some have felt impossible, others have been helped along by friends and family, even social media friends and family can  make all the difference to feeling un-alone and or unappreciated. I know it is weird, to think, cyber-friends can help us, but they can, if sincere in nature. I see my blogger friends repeatedly telling each other on their pages, “hi just stopping by to say hi”, or “hope you feel better” when they are sick.

This year, even amidst my own family here at home I am making it my mission and my goal to do something that is not for me. This might sound weird and really lame, but it is something I have thought long and hard about with so many recent events being in the negative. I want to ensure people around me and strangers are happy. Does this mean I will sit around trying to make the impossible happen? No! It just means that things that are not important will be left unsaid, the little things that can make one happy, if I can do it I will. No more, “I’m too busy” to listen to you, no more, being selfish with my time. After all, if I didn’t have any time, I’d be dead right? The reality of my life now is that the only “thing” I can possibly give of myself is my cooking to my family, so I do so wholeheartedly and 200% worth. I go to school; I raise 5 kids pretty much alone as my spouse works an average of 15 hours a day, at times seeing no one but me because they are all in bed. I run around taking kids from here to there and everywhere, but at the end of the day, I want to sit back and know that I gave them my full attention, the utmost all I could to ensure they felt rewarded, heard and acknowledged.  This of course means possibly the unexpected, the admittance that, well, I could be wrong from time to time (sssshhhhhh no repeating that!) telling the hubs how important he is and how thankful I am he does what he does to support us whether it is his choice or not to work so much. Calling family and friends more frequently, even a quick hello text can make someone’s day. Strangers actually and ironically will be the easier of the two between family and them to suffice. A smile, a hug, a $1 here or there, helping with their jumper cables, cleaning trash from streams, walking an elder to their car helping with their grocery bags all things I have done, but have long since forgotten in my “busy” life. I don’t intend to be rewarded with anything other than a thank you or a smile in return. The knowledge I have in my mind and in my heart will be the reward that no one could possibly give. I will sit back with my Trudeau Barbaresco wine glass filled with Syrah, knowing my day was and is complete with all I wanted to accomplish. Should I not wake in the morning, knowing the night before I fulfilled the REALLY important things that actually matter. If we all did so, can you imagine the legacy we could leave our children with? Arming them with the information and the process on how to care for others besides just ourselves, this would be an amazing feat and a new world to look forward too. The one I see right now is so bleak and dreary. Sure there are lots of good and honorable people out there, but the reality is, there are not enough!

I am not trying to be holier than thou either, I am being 100% true and honest, and seriously if you know me you know I couldn’t be any other way anyway. Yes I have personal issues with family and some friends, but I won’t let that define who I am and who I want my kids to think and see me as.

I won’t give up and I may complain a little along the way, but this is my life, my ride and I will live it and use it to the fullest extent, WITH wine, and a little whine…and plenty of company to surround me while we get through this crazy ride, called life!




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